溏心风暴 - 双儿棋

君+儿+外人


很对不起，没能把你们好好的给拖好，让你们向人球般被人又踢又丢。

无奈。。。

眼见你们没有家庭温暖还要担惊受怕，过了今天不懂明天的恐惧。
我的无能让我很无奈、很心痛。
z对我说不想理，妈对我说她什么都不知道。
那我能也不知道吗？把自己顶上顶端也要撑着。

两个无辜的人生，好像棋子般被玩弄。
要就拿回，不要就带跑，再来个遗弃。

妈的软弱只会在发生事时跟我说：‘我不知道’。
要我真么放心吧你们交给她？
宝贝双儿，我只能祈求时间赶快过去。。
让美好的赶快的到来吧。

Merry Christmas

Can I make A Christmas Wish??

I wish I can meet Santa :P so that i can wish for ..

A Watch
A Radio
A New Job
A Romantic Christmas
A ....
*To be continue..*


Haha now you know why I so like Christmas??
I know might be didn't get anything, but its like a day that giving wish away to people..
I like Christmas trees.. A tree with all presents ...A tree with all the wishes..








So Merry X'mas everyone.. :D wish you also have a happy blessing X'mas

车祸与明天

今天，路过Sg Besi Highway 时看到了一让我不能睡下的一幕。
路边站了三两个人，几辆电单车和一辆小货车。
地上躺了一个满身血、没了上衣又一动也不动的中年男人。
那男人身边的人群，并没有太激动。现场也没有救护车或警察。

我不懂了？带着傻着的脑袋经过这一幕，回到我每天例行的事。
为什么？怎么发生这样的事人们也没有多大的激动？
就这样的想了一整天。
会不会是太简单了？或是没什么特别？
还是因为“死”没什么大不了？！

电单车、流满的血、不动的躯体。。
我也是电单车骑士。。
如果那一个是我，会是怎样的？
如果我没有知觉的躺在哪，会是怎样的？

好可怕！不敢再想却一直在想。

今天我不可能预测明天，
也不可能担保能到达我未来的那一天。
很忽然的让我想起我的活着原则，
“活着今天就别让明天后悔！”

很深奥？！
那就好像我不知道明年的今天， 我是不是真的有机会在跟弟妹团圆？！
约好了将来要家好月圆，谁也不能知道真的会实现么？
就有如你总爱答应我，你现在不能给我，但以后会。。
可是“现实”让我很讨厌“以后”。。
因为以后我无法预测。


R.I.P 给你祈祷与祝福。

~Balik Kampung~

My balik kampung trip (n_n).. with my very sayang persons..

only one very unlucky thing happened..
Accident loo...aiya..i also don't know the motor no brek mah...
now the scar like dog bite =.="
But the Chi Cheong fun really damn sedap!!

Spot the different !!

I capture this picture when take my sis to her temp school..
I park behind his motor..huh...

Can u see anything different??




What??!!! Still Can't???


Hehehe...let me show u!!



Let me Zoom In...




Base on my experience, I checked the seat, no dust..hehe I wonder how he gonna wear his helmet.

~学会生活~

把咖啡放一旁、心里绞痛阁在一边。
想要好好放自己假。。
家里、工作压力让自己给自己放了个休假。。







~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
忙碌的日子，让我忘了原来我长大了。
生活的脚步，犹如火车般停不下来。。
到了二十多岁，活得有如家里的杠杠。
背着的包袱，加得忘记要停下呼吸。

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
听着甜美声音，才想起原来曾经爱唱歌；
曾经有梦过，拿起吉他疯狂的尽情唱弹；
也幻想过，背起背包一个人流浪看世界；
可最终，却停留在痛苦与生存边缘挣扎。

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~
没有了梦，没了生活；
学习会了无时无刻面对突发事件；
学会冷静面对压力与欺压；
了解此刻活着的重要；
体会真实的人间冷暖；
知道该如何保护自己；
享受为自己而活的快感；
也学会了粗言秽语发泄；
懂得活着就会有不一样的明天

Life is so Ironic..

曾经，有个网友告诉我“you life is really Ironic" 我说不懂什么意思， 他想了好久，终于把这首歌给我找来。。。


An old man, turned 98
He won the lottery, and died the next day
It's a black fly in your chardonnay
It's a death row pardon, two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic?
Don't you think?

It's like rain, on your wedding day
It's a free ride, when you've already paid
It's the good advice, that you just didn't take
And who would've thought? It figures

Mr. Play-It-Safe, was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase, and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life, to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought, "Well isn't this nice?"
And isn't it ironic?
Don't you think?

It's like rain, on your wedding day
It's a free ride, when you've already paid
It's the good advice, that you just didn't take
And who would've thought? It figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out
When you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face

A traffic jam, when you're already late
A "No smoking" sign, on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic?
Don't you think?
A little too ironic?
Yeah I really do think


It's like rain, on your wedding day
It's a free ride, when you've already paid
It's the good advice, that you just didn't take
And who would've thought?
It figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
And life has a funny, funny way, of helping you out
Helping you out

~Clean your computer~

Hehe...sometimes I wonder..how many of the user really do clean their PC??
Sometime I just upside down the keyboard....yarkkk (x_x) not only dust ...i can see left over food, finger nail,and pins falling between buttons ..but user still using it like nothing inside..(x_x) ..

I found an article from microsoft...i think it is very useful for all PC'er.
wish you all will keep your PC clean too.. (n_n)

-------------------------------XX--------------------------------------

Preparation
You'll need:

• screwdriver
• can of compressed air (available from computer dealers or office-supply stores)
• cotton swabs (do not use a cotton ball)
• rubbing alcohol
• paper towels or anti-static cloths
• water


*Always turn your computer off before you begin and unplug all the cords.*

Step 1: Inside the case
Using a screwdriver, remove the side of the case that's opposite your motherboard. Touch as little as possible inside the computer, keeping fingers away from cards and cords.

Blow air around all of the components and along the bottom of the case, keeping the nozzle four inches away from the machine. Blow air into the power supply box and into the fan (from the back of the case). Lastly, blow air into the floppy disk and CD drives. Wipe the inside of the cover with a lightly moistened cloth before replacing it.

Millman recommends doing this every three months if your case sits on the floor, if you have pets that shed, or if you smoke. Otherwise, every six to eight months is fine.

Step 2: Outside the case
Run a cotton swab dipped in rubbing alcohol around all of the openings on the back of your case. Give them one swipe with the damp end of the swab and one swipe with the dry end. Do this as often as you clean the inside of your computer.

Step 3: Keyboard
Turn the keyboard upside down and gently shake it. Most of the crumbs and dust will fall out. Take a can of compressed air and blow into and around the keys. Next, take a cotton swab and dip it in rubbing alcohol. It should be damp, but not wet. Run the cotton swab around the outside of the keys. Rub the tops of the keys. If you have a laptop, follow the same procedure but take extra care with your machine. Do this monthly.

Spills — If you have kids, you're worried about spills. If it happens, disconnect the keyboard immediately and flip it over. Blot the top with a paper towel, blow compressed air between the keys and leave it to air dry overnight. For laptops, liquid can easily penetrate the hard drive so turn the computer over immediately and leave it in that position until it dries.


Step 4: Mouse
Rub the top and bottom of your mouse with a paper towel dipped in rubbing alcohol. Open the back and remove the ball. Wash the ball with water and let it air dry. To clean inside the mouse, dip a cotton swab in rubbing alcohol and rub all of the components. Scrape hard-to-remove grime with your fingernail. Finally, blow air into the opening. Replace the ball and the cover. Do this monthly.

Step 5: Monitor
Moisten a paper towel or a soft, lint-free cloth with water. (You can also buy monitor cleaning products at computer-supply stores.) Don't spray liquid directly onto the screen—spray the cloth instead. Wipe the screen gently to remove dust and fingerprints. Never touch the back of the monitor.

For laptop screens, Millman suggests buying a special cleaning solution available at computer stores. Do this weekly.

Finally, make sure that everything is dry before you plug your computer back in.

Article written by Alyson Munroe and adapted from an original piece from Microsoft Home Magazine.

Free online storage with Windows Live SkyDrive

Hehe...I am not working for Microsoft..
But this is really a GOOD news for those wish to have own storage and it is FREE !!!

yeah.. we all like free things :P don't we??

I get this RSS feeds from Microsoft :

Store and access your personal files from anywhere online, up to 5 GB for free. Great for sharing files with friends and family too.

just click on link below, and get started with your hotmail account..then you can see a very nice features page (^_^)

http://go.microsoft.com/?linkid=9480112

溏心风暴 - 叛逆女

*第三章*


啊。。。。快疯了！
谁可以告诉我该如何面对这样的状况？？！！
此刻我真的希望我是真的被遗弃在路边的小孩！！

你！！
你知道自己有多自私吗？？？
当初你说，在这个家呆不下去了。
你还记得是为了什么原因让弟妹中途停学？
而远在乡下的亲友漏夜赶来帮你离家的吗？
又是谁每天鬼鬼祟祟给你打电话安慰的吗？

这一切都是为了谁？

弟妹是为了让自己成为孤儿？
还是成为自己家庭破坏者？
不，该说是你的婚姻破坏者。

家好月圆里的荷妈是为了孩子的，
我为了这件事想了好久。。
但现在也在想，想你为弟妹什么了。。
因为不敢相信也不肯承认。
想到快要疯了，也没想到你对我们做了什么了。

在你眼中， 你是受害者。
所以你应该被原谅与保护着的。

而弟妹也是那么的疼惜你，
却带来的是给你过渡的纵容与任性。

可惜，当我发现时已太迟了。
让你忘了什么是当母亲的责任。

当是一个身为母亲该站出来，为孩子负起着责任时，
你在哪里？你做了什么？

得到的只有一句话：“我不知道” ，然后就可以逃避一切。

但我放弃去再听这句话而选择扛起责任时，
你却因害怕外面的世界，害怕工作而回到那个人的身边。

曾经为你忙碌担忧的亲友除了失望，还能怎样？？


当我们选择了自己要走的路和要过的生活时，
我真的不敢相信我的耳朵。。
你问我为什么不要让妹妹回去？为什么要让她们辛苦在外活着？
你知道我有多生气和失望吗？？

你要我怎么把妹妹交给你？
我问你，如果他再暴力对待你们时怎么办？
你说：“那我就离开啊”。
那我问你，
当你背叛了帮过你的人时，谁还会去救你这个手无寸铁的女人？
如果你成功离开了，留在那陪你的妹妹怎么办？

谁又可以保证他不会在下次发疯把你们杀了？

如果你认为你离开了，他一个人在家很可怜，
那我想问，谁可怜孤苦无丁的妹妹？
最可笑的，他摆明了要和那个女人在一起，
明明在逼你宣誓自认不是他的妻子，
你为什么还要回去？
为什么就不能辛苦一点过一点平谈的日子？
为了这件事牺牲的弟妹一点也比不上他么？

为了想一个能让我更好过的理由，
我真的想得快要疯了。。
看着心里淌血的弟妹。。

我宁为你眼中的叛逆女。

The song that stayed with me tonight

"Someone's Watching Over Me"

Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wont be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment to my dreams

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That someone's watching over
Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over me

Someone's watching over me

溏心风暴 - 方向盘

*第二章*




夜里好像很难入睡，感觉好像好多事没做，好烦。
或许是因为刚才的通话吧。

该是生气？还是混乱？





话说我有一个辍学的弟弟，他说我的部落格怎么少写了他的遭遇？
关于他，本人还是有点内疚的。

因为他在中四时就被迫停学了，而当时的我也很无奈的帮不到他一点点的忙。
在这我也非常希望他能珍惜这次的重读的机会。
虽是辛苦些，但就如我的哲学：“忍着点，会熬得过去的-- 杂草精神。”
就把那念念不忘的经历成为你的推动力，一个让你变得比别人不同的原因吧。

“如果你的生活是跟每一个人一样，那你跟其他人有什么不同呢？”

虽然你姐我没什么了不起，也是在普通不过的平凡人。
但重点在，我的平凡确非来得平凡。。。

被自私的养父迫而辍学去帮忙工作，当了苦力还没固定薪水。
可恨的是，我在好久就离家了，在家并不是受欢迎的人，就像个多余又要饭要钱的人，更别说我能有什么发言的机会了。
也怨不了软弱的母亲，没别的原因，就因为她是母亲。

话说回刚才的通话，是跟我很少提起的妹妹的。
她问我“为什么不把两个妹妹给送回去读书呢？”
我回到“为什么要送回去呢？”“诺不能给我一个说服性的理由就免谈”
诺你还会在想为什么当时要漏夜逃出来，那就是到现在你还不了解什么叫为自己活着。

这就是为什么我对她写不下去的理由。
因为我不懂她在想什么，也不清楚她的位置。
她是我的妹妹，无可否认，但个性与想法我从摸不清楚。
家里的事，跟她无关痛痒，她活着的目的我也不清楚。
她就像个“？”在我的脑里。

对我来说，一个人要走什么样的路，
我没有能力去阻止，也不会去阻止。
因为一个人该拥有什么样的人生，是自己决定的。
诺要美好明天，就去闯出来，头破血流无怨无悔。
诺要个平淡无风险的，就来个安安稳稳的留在原地。
而我，只会做我认为该做的事，不管别人眼中是怎样的。
因为是我活在我的人生，而不是别人。

溏心风暴 - 孤儿泪

*第一章*

擦着疲倦的眼，又一个晚上了。可昨夜的激动还在，手脚还在疼着呢。
夜间总是最易让人迷茫与想入非非。。

被遗忘的记忆，只能模糊的回忆起那条走不完的黄泥路。
当过渡的创伤，记忆选择遗忘与放弃悲伤程式。

当知道亲生母亲选择跟随残暴的养父而放弃我们时，
在远地工作又没完成学业的弟弟、留落陪在我身边生存的妹妹们气得快要停止呼吸。

弟妹问我：“为什么我的人生是这样的？”
这个问题。。。 我不懂回答。

在外地当苦力的弟弟告诉我快过年了，可他连一件新年衣也不敢买，因为有个家要当。眼看才19岁的弟弟一个人留在异乡，我只能心疼无言了。

LovE sOnG

Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that

You made room for me, but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to

Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me


I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving
I'm gonna need a better reason to write you a love song today
Today



I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear
My heavy heart sinks deep down under you
And your twisted words, your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry



Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way,
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving
I'm gonna need a better reason to write you a love song today

Promise me you'll leave the light on
To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone
'Cause I believe there's a way you can love me because I say
I won't write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
Is that why you wanted a love song
'Cause you asked for it?
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that there's a reason to
Write you a love song today
Today